Uvulations!

You know the uvula is that hangy down part in the back of your throat.  Normally it minds its own business and just hangs back there, getting out of the way when you swallow or talk.

What would  you do if your uvula started to misbehave?  Instead of hanging back meekly it grew to outlandish proportions and started to make a nuisance of itself?

Well, it happened to me last week.  Twice before that, actually, but last week was the worst.  Somehow, I must have fallen asleep without my CPAP mask (not too hard to believe since I took a sleeping pill) and then began to rip and snore, flapping my uvula like a pennant in a regatta in a gale.  Let's say the Americas Cup.

I slept though all this, at least for an hour.  I remember waking up intermittently through the night thinking that my throat was awfully sore, suspecting is was a damaged uvula, and noting that I was wearing my mask.   It didn't make sense that I could be snoring while wearing the mask.

The next day I awoke to major uvula stress.  I couldn't talk in a normal voice for fear the uvula would jump up out of my throat.  Every time I bent over that warm meaty hangy thing flopped into the back of my mouth.  Kinda nauseatin' actually.  Then there was was the pain in the entire back of my mouth and throat.

This went on for the past week.  Only now, seven days later, are things feeling back to normal.

The first time this happened was on Christmas morning three years ago.  I went to the emergency room.  They treated me but the only cure is to wait it out.  Eventually it will shrink back to normal size.

The last two times it happened I researched "enlarged uvula" on the internet and found a few home remedies.  Like mixing turmeric with honey and licking it off a spoon.  Feels kinda good on the old uvula.  I also like drinking ginger ale.

So if it happens to you, keep your head up, try a little home therapy, and wait it out.